IS THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION OF CONTINUOUS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FINALLY HERE?
By Ngobesing Linda Neh
WHY THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE MAY NEVER BREAK
…The most disheartening part of the story is that when she arrived at the hospital; she said the injury in her eye was sustained as she split wood. Really? Was she splitting the wood on her eyes or in her eyes? It was on the 25th of November 2014, day of non violence against women. While the world fought to end all acts of violence against women Mme Elizabeth was been violated by her husband. Okay I know this is getting complicated and you may not get it so let me coordinate these ideas and explain.
Mme Elizabeth lives in Bamenda, married and a mother of four. She wakes up every morning and cooks for her children and gets them ready for school. On the morning of 25th November (International day of non violence against women) her husband informs her that he needs to demolish her kitchen and build a home for his pigs. She disagrees and they argue. Her husband pulls out wood from the fire and pierces her left eye. He tells her that he owns the property and thus has the right to do what he pleases with the property.
When Nkwenti Marie-Claire, staff of COMINSUD a Bamenda based NGO, was notified, she rushed to the scene .The lady narrated the whole story but pleaded that she will not want her husband to be questioned or punished for the act. She was not going to tell the true story even to the hospital staff that will attend to her later. Like Marie Claire, I and other volunteers and staff of COMINSUD are too familiar with cases of victims of acts of violence who are scared to tell their stories, yet need help.
‘Well because that is the first time he is doing it and he is sorry’ Elizabeth stammered.
Now dear women, Is it enough to deprive me of one eye and apologize?The sad part is that wife battery and other acts of violence against women is hardly a one time thing.It is often a vicious cycle.
Most people think that violence against women is a cock and bull story but it is real. Each time we try to cover up the perpetrators’ of violence, we contribute in promoting the cycle of violence. Even when we have solutions and don’t offer them, we contribute to violence against women.
According to the Delegate of the Divisional Delegation of Women’s Empowerment and the Family for Mezam, her office receives reports of at least 25 cases of violence against women monthly, and most are cases of domestic violence.
Good enough that people have started speaking up but what about the cases that are not reported? What about the likes of Mme Elizabeth who prefer to cover up the perpetrators?
Let us strengthen the solidarity of women in our communities by reporting cases of violence, Monitoring cases and continuously sensitizing against these ills together we can create tools to pressure governments to implement promises made to eliminate violence against women.
About the author; Ngobesing Linda Neh is a young dynamic and multi talented young lady.She was born and raised in Bamenda, capital of North West Region, Cameroon. Bamenda a cosmopolitan town and Cameroons fourth largest city has offered her insights to interest in development work and women’s issues in particular. She started crusading for women’s rights on Radio, Television and public events at the tender age of 5 . This enabled her to develop a broad mind, assertiveness and conviction in public speaking and crusading for the rights of women.
1 step at a time. NGO good initiative well done. we would get there. Most men r unaccountable that’s the root. The mindset of most men; Merde! when it comes to diplomacy or respect.
In Cameroon back in the days I know the government had social welfare. There was a case in point, whereby wife beater didn’t even adhere to being summoned. He was a no show to counseling sessions. Neither was he even afraid of his boss who tried to intervene.
Let them close their eyes and imagine it was their daughter. Maybe that will help.